I've given up hope expecting checkers at the grocery have rudimentary skills, like basic mental arithmetic. It's to the point I don't bother fishing for that nickel and two pennies in my pocket if the total comes to $19.82 - I just hand the pride of the GED program my Jefferson and accept the fact that I'll have twenty-five cents of loose change, instead of a quarter to feed the parking meter later.

I've even accepted - barely - the fact that he'll be festooned with more metal pushed through his fleshy extremities than much of the livestock now in the meat rack ever bore.

It's a sign of the times, and we really can't expect much more. Sadly.

But something I haven't accustomed myself to (and I hope not to!) is being completely unseen. Not ignored so much as not acknowledged. Why is it that checkout clerks think it's Okay to:

• Stare at the register and not even register a moment's eye contact with the customer?
• Consider the customer a necessary inconvenience in the course of a day?
• Have an ongoing conversation with adjacent clerks, without greeting the customer, just scanning the goods?
• Oggle the "babe" in aisle three while accidentally scanning the loaf of bread twice?

Yeah, call the cleanup crew. It's a complete mess.